Sunday, September 13, 2009

Season of Change

Change is coming.

The woods around me speak of it, littering the trail with signs: acorns, oak apples, crisp leaves, yellowed and curled. The collector in me won't let them lie still, but must look for acorns still with their caps, or shiny fat round ones with interesting colors of yellow and brown. Even the oak apples are not safe. When I was young I used to worry they were full of bugs, but I found a couple of perfect ones.

My spirit longs for the change. I'm weary of hot summer days, of staring at my computer screen and nothing coming to mind. I need change, the Holy Spirit moving in me like a brisk fall wind, stirring me up, calling me forth.

I love Fall, a season of rich harvest, of icy mornings and hot afternoons, of tea and juice, rich with fruit and nuts and seeds, a time of nourishment and death, a time between. Fall is a season of change, and my heart longs to change with it. I want to die to my current state of lethergy, of sadness, of being mired and stagnant, and gallop across the golden grass of the hills, run through the falling leaves, sail with the "wish" seeds, bits of fluff of milkweed, blown to find new soil for their seeds.

I want, O Lord, my writing to change with me, to bring forth harvest, to blow with new life, to let things die and be reborn. I want to feel that life within me, the life that flows through the season, and flow with it, feel alive, feel young, and pour out everything within me in a glorious outpouring all of nature in preparation for a time of cold. Bless my desire for change and help me change my life to flow closer to you.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Most of the time I focus my writing for publication for mainstream markets. I've gotten fairly good (in my opinion) at the mechanics of writing a novel, of plot, characterization, narration, dialog, grammar... but often I feel like I'm lacking anything deeper. I'm telling a good story, a rich story, but not one that reflects the deeper element. So, I decided I needed a project not aimed at my further career as a children's author, but something just for me, something to explore spirituality, mysticism, and writing, something that would let me play and explore in an area that normally takes a great deal of care.

Essentially, I decided to write an allegory.

For the process, I decided to borrow from a Christian mystical tradition of Iconography. This is especially popular in Orthodoxy. The icon writer prays and fasts while drawing and painting the image, seeking through prayer to find the inspiration to create an object that will be used directly for prayer by other people. I couldn't help thinking, wouldn't it be lovely if you could use a novel for prayer as well? In a way, you can with some of the more powerful allegories… I learned so much from "Hinds Feet on High Places."

Now, I'm not a real disciplined person. Unfortunately, extra prayer and fasting tends not to happen, but I did come up with a simple way of trying my experiment. My plan is to write a little each day after my meditation on the allegory. I'm allowed to rip off as many bible stories as I like, as much religious symbolism as I like, etc. By playing this way, I can explore both my faith and my writing further. I named the project Icon.

I'm not terribly consistent (rather like this blog) but I do have 16K words so far. Each time I write, I end up turning to the bible for inspiration, and end up reading as much of that as I do write. Can't be bad for me, can it? I'm hoping to finish the book before I do Nanowrimo in November with a secular project. When I'm done I hope I've learned some good things from it I can reflect on and take with me to my secular projects as well.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Considering Plot and Religion

These days, with so many niche markets, it leaves writers who want to lean on their inner lives with quite a dilemma. Where is the line between keeping your novel mainstream and limiting it to a niche religious market? Often I've been leery of presenting ideas about faith and God in a mainstream book, but when I examine the data, it seems clear to me many people manage it. There's also plenty of historical fiction novels where characters display a lot of their religions.

Considering my goal to allow my faith to actively enrich my writing, it's worth looking at religion and plot and storytelling and seeing what I can learn from others. This post is originally one I wrote for the Toasted Scimitar a few years ago on the subject of religion and plot.

Dangers of a Religious Based Plot

When religious themes, actions, or situations are so central to a story that they drive the plot, it means you, as author, are no longer neutral on the subject. If religion is just a colorful world building devise, the story puts no judgement on it. But if it drives the story, it is drawn into the theme and message of the book, and will say something to your audience about the religion/beliefs that are plot important.

The major danger of religion in plot is of course preachiness. When we pick up a novel we want a good story, to lose ourselves in another world, not to hear a sermon on what we should or should not believe. Nothing is worse than picking up a book, getting into it, and discovering mid-way that it's actually a religious apology for someone's personal beliefs, trying to make you agree with them. No one can stand a novel that feels like only a platform to have philosophy thrust at you. Thus, if you find religion is becoming central to your plot, or have a desire to use religion as a plot tool, your main task is to find a way to do this that is not preachy.

Three Ways to Avoid Preachiness

Many authors have struggled with the dangers of getting preachy and/or limiting their audience, and looking at the best works in fantasy that have faced this problem, I see three choices for writing a compelling story.

First, you can preach, but do it with care, and accept the fact it will limit your audience. You do this by writing for the already converted to the religion you are presenting, and give them a story within their world view that they can enjoy and appreciate, and that will deepen their faith. I can almost hear some groans… because this method has been done so badly so often, however, that's not implicit to the idea. Books can and have been written that are powerful works of literature that do this, and do it well. It's not easy, but I never promised any of these methods would be easy. But it does and will limit your audience, because any reader not already of that worldview will likely find the book preachy, so you must accept that.

Secondly, you can use religious or theological principles inherent in your world building, but disguise them so they are a subtext. In this method, on the surface the story appears to be about broad moral principles, but since it's still central to the plot, literary criticism can easily reveal the religious bias beneath them—you're still saying something concrete about your beliefs. The power of this method is that it can be read by a wider audience than method one, because those not interested in your religious subtext can ignore it. It's present, but it doesn't preach. The downside of this method is that it's a tricky balance to keep the message present but hidden. Too obscure and it will be missed completely, too obvious and you're back in category one.

The third way to make religion central to the plot successfully is to have the characters vividly religious but the narration neutral and the plot and author fair and balanced on the subject when all is said and done. This highlights religious issues/tensions/plot devises, yet does not commit the book to preaching the message of any particular character. The danger is that if the author is not excellent at keeping neutral on the subject, you're back in category one, but done successfully, such novels are thought provoking and enjoyable.

All three ways can create a compelling and satisfying story. I'm going to briefly show this by discussing some well-written fantasy examples. There's so many bad examples out there, that there's no need to get into those. (Although there are more good example in the literary and historical fiction genres… it seems more common that religious plots are done badly in fantasy and science fiction.)

Preaching with Care

One of the best books I've ever read in my first category is "Hinds Feet on High Places," buy Hannah Hurnard. The book is a stunning and compelling Christian allegory, and Hurnard doesn't pretend it's anything else, or for anyone else, than those who believe. It is a compelling character story, and anyone who doesn't mind the concept of Christ as savior, would most likely enjoy the book.

The main character, Much Afraid, learns her relatives are planning to marry her off to Craven Fear, whom she is terrified of. Her desperation leads her to finally accept the offer of the Shepherd to send her to the High Places, where she can receive a new name and life. But the Shepherd cannot stay by her side constantly, so he gives her two companions to help her make the journey, Pain and Suffering. At first Much Afraid is furious and distrustful, but as they are forced to face both the dangers of the journey and Much Afraid's insistent relatives trying to force her to return to the unwanted marriage, she must learn to trust them and accept their help.

Unlike many first category books, Hurnard's allegory is a well-balanced plot with plenty of tension, both in action and in spiritual journey. For someone of a Christian worldview it offers deep insights into the spiritual life. However, someone not interested in the Christian faith would probably lose patience with the spiritual discussions instead of finding enlightenment.

This principle was clear to me upon reading Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials." While it starts out a bit hidden, the series is most definitely preaching to the atheists, and is beyond blatant by book three. He is advocating through story, a certain point of view and does it openly. Despite the fact the story was well-written and had a good balance of tension and plot, because I am not an atheist, I found it annoying, unsatisfying, and preachy, where I would guess a believer of that world view would have found it moving or enlightening.

By openly constructing their plots and characters around their beliefs both Hurnard and Pullman limit their audience to people who agree with them. However, to that audience the book is valuable and well-loved, and both books have been very successful.

Religious Underlying Structure but Hidden

The most famous book in this category is of course, Lord of the Rings. Widely popular among people of all sorts of faiths, underneath the surface, Tolkien's Catholic worldview and theology are easily found through literary criticism. And, they are no accident, Tolkien was openly Catholic as well as a well-known member of Christian writing group, the Inklings, who strove to show their faith through their writing.

However, unlike Hurnard or Pullman, Tolkien's book is neither allegory nor openly advocating for his religion. Readers may not even notice the Christian structure of the story, of if they do, are free to ignore it. Yet, it is undeniably there.

Huge articles, and probably books have been written on the Christian symbolism of "Lord of the Rings." I'll do the short version. In Middle Earth, there are demons (Sauron) and angels (Gandolf). Magic is a force of evil and the devil (the ring). The forces of evil want to corrupt man into using those powers because ultimately that will bring them under the control of the devil. The characters struggle with moral choices when faced with the corrupting power of evil, and in the end good conquers evil and the world is saved.

If you want more details on the theology behind LOTR, I'd be happy to dig up some references to Christian articles on the subject. For the moment, suffice it to say that the book is full of classic theological references to Tolkien's religion, and that those are central to his construction of the plot, but are also hidden enough that no hint of preachiness breaks into the surface story. It's extra for those who care to find it. In this respect, Tolkien is a master at balance, because I've yet to find a way to do this properly in any of my novels, but then, LOTR wasn't written in a day, was it?

Religious Characters without Authorial Judgement

This category is no less difficult, and mostly seen in historical or literary works. However, in the fantasy genre, the book "Beast," by Donna Jo Napoli is an excellent example of this. The main character, a Persian prince, is a practicing Muslim in his historical tradition of that religion. Yet, despite the fact that his religion is the core factor that helps him retain his humanity after being transformed into the beast of the traditional "Beauty and the Beast" folk tale, the story does not try and convince us to be Muslims. His beliefs are part of his personal struggle, and especially late in the book when he meets the French Christian Beauty, no authorial judgements are drawn on either religion.

Both characters act as true representatives of their separate, and often warring religious traditions. Both characters find their religion a crucial support in their struggles in life. Yet, because this is shown as a personal view of faith, the reader is able to sympathize and understand the characters even if personally they disagree with them on the subject of religion. This works much like having friends or acquaintances of other faiths. The reader can respect the character's beliefs, because the character is not actively foisting them on the reader, but only living them out as they see fit.

And, the book is balanced. A faithful Muslim is shown next to a faithful Christian, and both characters are good and honest people. A book that shows everyone of one faith as twisted hypocrites, while those of another as kind people ends up making a statement on the value of various religions, even if it never claims outright that everyone of said religions is good or evil. It implies it through situation, placing the book back in category one.

Picking What Works for You

In conclusion, you cannot have religion as plot important without dealing with the issue of meaning. So, it is important when desiring to use strong religious symbols, theology, or motivations as plot important, that you take into consideration what sort of meaning you want, and the best way to present it. Done well, all three methods produce wonderful stories. Just be careful and conscious of the pitfalls, if you don't want to end up like many of the horrors out there.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Chance Encounter

We were camping in the Cascades this weekend. Yesterday, when I tried to go hiking with my husband I was too sore, and so I had to turn back to rest while he hiked on. Intending to write I found a quiet place near the edge of a lava flow. I spread out a blanket and started by reading the bible, intending to work on Icon, my symbolic novel experiment in mystic writing, in a bit. For a while I was distracted by the clicking of some insects that sounded something like I might imagine rattlesnakes to sound like, but I started to calm down reading about Solomon and the queen of Sheba, Joash, Elisha, political uprisings and child kings. Oddly, the biblical violence was soothing and spoke of stories both of God and man and what I might write.

Eventually, I went looking for a new quote for the chapter seven of Icon since it wasn't turning out to be about what I thought it would be about. And in the middle of reading Matthew, a deer dashed around the corner of the lava flow. All I heard was the thunder of its steps and looked up terrified. It skidded to a stop, staring at me, just as terrified, ears outward, dust rising around its red brown coat. For a small fraction of a moment, we just stared at each other terrified, and I was unsure if I should run or if it would run me over first, then the deer turned to the side and dashed off, leaving me exhilarated and feeling blessed.

A second deer poked its head around the edge of the lava flow cautiously, warned by the terror of the first. For a second we watched each other, before it turned back the way it'd come, leaving me in peace. Still their beauty touched me, inspired me to actually try to write. I decided on a passage about vine branches from John from the last supper, looked it up, and I took out the laptop to write.

Terror and beauty and mystery was there in that encounter with the deer and I think I am perhaps rather like them when it comes to glimpsing God. He waits, quietly, patiently, and I turn the corner, busy with my own thoughts, only to stop in sheer terror at seeing him. I am curious, I want to investigate, but also afraid, and so dash on in a different direction. Instead, I hope that next time I come face to face with Him, I will pause, then draw closer instead.

Also, I think I should sit quietly out in the middle of nowhere more often. Nature has a way of leading me to its creator.

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Why do I write? This is a question that easily gets lost in the storytelling of creative fiction, in the intellectual excitement of research papers, in the emotional torrent of personal journals, and in the love and desire to share in letters to those I care for. Yet, underneath them all burns the same fire, the same source of inspiration—my faith in God.

This journal is my attempt to explore my inner life with writing and my writing with my inner life. As "The Soul of the Apostolate" counsels religious that you cannot give to others what you don't have spiritually yourself, so us writers based in faith cannot give in our words that we have yet to accept. This is my journey both in faith and in the written word, to seek both the presence of God and to share it in all I write, whether implicitly or explicitly.

After several false starts and ramblings, I think I've finally found my place and purpose for this blog. This is not about preaching to others, but about exploring God, mysticism, and the inner writing life. If this sparks your interest either as a writer or a seeker of God, feel free to add your own thoughts. Please just remember this is for all of us ultimately a journey we make alone with the Lord of Heaven, and so be respectful of the many traditions and background from which we all come. I cannot separate my journey to know God from my Catholic faith, and I certainly don't expect anyone else to leave their own traditions behind.  But this is not a place for apologetics, but to simply share.

Friday, March 20, 2009


Oh Lord... I think I want success too much.  My writing is stalled, my prayer life is stalled, all  I want to do is sleep or zone out.  Yet, more than that, I want the glamor and income of success.  I want thousands of inspired readers.  I want to be able to pay my bills.  I want to have kids.  I have many desires.

Lord, bless me.  Guilde me.  Help me to find You.  Help me to do Your will.  Help me to keep turning to You and to trust in Your mercy and guidence.  


Thursday, March 12, 2009


Is writing a charism for me?  I took a test to help me find where to look for my spiritual gifts and it came up on the top of them.  This is only a indicator of what I might investigate to look for them, prayer and decernment is the only way to know for sure.

Oh Lord, you know I want to serve you.  You know you want to write to bring people to you.  Help me.  Inspire me.  Lead me on the right path with my writing.  Show me what you want me to write.  Give me your Holy Spirit and lead me in your ways.

Help me learn, oh Lord, if writing is a charism, a gift from you.  I love to write, and it will always draw me forward.  I don't know for sure though if is a charism, a gift of the Holy Spirit.  It is my deepest longing to show people you, to make them turn to you, through my writing.  To inspire them with your love and joy, your plan for their life.  It is my desire to share the stories within me to others.  If you wish to give me this gift and use me for more, I am open to it.  If not, I will accept whatever other plan you have for my life.

Regardless, Lord, I want to put my writing in your hands.  My desires, my longing, and my dreams.  Show me the way you wish me to go.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Bell

We went to Goodwill to look for i-pods—a lot of them go second hand these days.  I didn't expect to see the bell.  It sat in the glass case (lacking of electronic music players unfortunately) with dorje rubberbanded to the top of it.  It made me think of the movie Kundun—wasn't there a bell like that in it?

I'm notoriously shy.  I hate counters and customer service representatives… one reason I'm not into jewelry.  Buying it is too embarrassing.  But we were there already, my husband looking over electronic something-or-others, and so I peered at it through the glass, to shy to ask just yet.

Indian, I told myself.  An Indian Buddhist bell.  Somehow it'd be less of a let down then if I did find out it was Indian.  I wanted the bell anyway, even if it was Indian.  The tag read 19.99.  Could I really afford something so frivolous… something so pagan?  What if it was a cheap fake?  Could the bell really be worth that.

I thought; I agonized; I paced.  I probably would have sent shudders of irritation through countless generations of Tibetan monks with my wanting, wish, desiring of the bell.  God was probably rolling his eyes at him.  I went home and looked up Indian (and Tibetan) bells online.  

Okay, so yes, Buddhist Mysticism fascinates me.  So does Islamic Mysticism.  One mystic tradition calls to another.  As Thomas Merton says, who better than Western Mystics to investigate Eastern Mystics and see what we all have in common?  I love music, culture, and mystic traditions.  And Christianity has a long history of borrowing things it likes.  I like the bell.  So yes, I looked up online.

Not a good deal, but not a bad one either.

With a deep breath I went back to the Goodwill counter and asked for the bell.  Looking it over I'd seen enough online to see it was in fact Tibetan, not Indian.  Not as fancy as some, but also perfectly authentic with the "made in Nepal" sticker still on it.  A little worn.  Makes me wonder who used it for what… or if it was just the mold it was made in that was worn.  Somehow I doubt some Buddhist has been using my bell until it looks worn out.

Where ever it comes from, it sings with a long echoing tone.  Each time I sit down at my computer I make a joyful noise to the Lord.